Loving The Best We Can

"100%" by Dar Freeland

images & text © 1997-2011 Dar Freeland | all rights reserved

Frustration seems to be coming up for many..."it's not happening fast enough, good enough, the way we want it enough..." The feelings are ranging from anger/rage to hopelessness and everything in between. Bottom line, things feel so out of our control. Guess what...we are discovering that they ARE. So what can we do with that? What would be useful and effective for bringing more peace into the situation? Like it or not, this seems to be the formula:

1. Look at and explore what is real, what is in front of us.

2. Accept that it is there and we can't change it (watching someone we care about who is hurting, or inconsolable for any reason).

3. Explore what our hidden motivation is to "fix" it. Do we support an inner illusion that we are powerful, or part of something, or freeing self from guilt, or [fill in your blank].

3. Shift our own thinking into neutrality rather than "I can fix that". Neutrality doesn't mean "I don't care" - that is disassociation. Neutrality says I observe it, I am not hooked into it, I feel compassion for it, I give what is healthy for me to give.

4. Share Love to/with the person or situation in the following way that demonstrates we've achieved the necessary neutrality to give without ego or other hidden motivation...

a. I love you with all my heart.

b. I can help you/the situation in any way that maintains my own self care and healthy choices.

c. I am there for you in the ways that I am willing and capable to be.

What this demonstrates, is that we Love others and/or the situation...that we Love self and practice good self care by not "care-taking"...and that we will go to the wall for someone/something - as far as it is healthy for us to go.

We acknowledge that we are NOT in control, (which the ego never wants to consider)...that each person/situation is driving its own path and can discover its own wisdom and healing on it, and that our greatest power in it is the choice to give our Love the best way we can. Then everyone is served. Those who are looking for more, or feel entitled to our "care-taking" may not like it, but we will go to sleep at night knowing that we went 100% for those closest to our heart.

Isn't "care-taking" an interesting word?

--dar freeland

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