The Path of the One Heart

"Conversations" by Dar Freeland

images & text © 1997-2011 Dar Freeland | all rights reserved

Dramas, addictions, illusions, desires, stories - could perhaps be considered the product of a mind unfocused and without discipline.

A person does not need to have things be hard or dramatic - the goal is more to engage in a soft ease of living peacefully with excitement and pleasure. The cherry on top is being able to give to others with absolute abandon.

First, to clear the road, the baggage needs to be removed.

I found that giving up relationship with destructive emotions (other’s projections of shame and blame that I myself have bought into) … this toxicity could finally be released by the four step process I refer to as “Meta”:

1. Recognize (Identify what is the problem - what is it that does not feel like it fits or resonates with me?)

2. Acknowledge (See it is here and allow it to be exposed to self and others)

3. Accept (Embrace the truths discovered - understand its source and consequence-without trying to push it away)

4. Release (I stop grasping for it, buying into the addiction of it, feeling the illusion of its allure, let go)

Once we've taken the issue, and applied the above; the movie shown on the screen of relationship (another person’s actions and reactions) no longer needs to be present in life - and therefore does vanish. Once we see it, the projection has served its purpose and is no longer necessary.

One action that cannot be escaped - is to be accountable for my actions, take personal responsibility. Say I am sorry where it is appropriate. Make amends. This is particularly healing, and speeds the process. It is non-negotiable, because any attempt at healing that involves only blame, will repeat as an unrelenting reminder that the work is not complete and/or in full integrity.

We need to distinguish illusion, self-talk, rationalization, ego - all from what is truly living inside of self. Once we see it for real, we can let it go and open the heart fully. This new space now becomes a place to receive what we say we truly want, instead of a place to store the baggage.

How I choose to fill this void now, is up to me.

In this new moment, if one chooses, any relationship can stay intact. With note of the adjustments needed for healthy self care, and the pain having been addressed - the issues can now transform into empty space, providing the opportunity to fill that space with something more useful, such as love or peace.

--dar freeland

faceupstudio.com

The Bleating Egos

"One Two Punch" by Dar Freeland

images & text © 1997-2011 Dar Freeland | all rights reserved

Anger and pain only last a moment, just drama that blurts forth in its self indulgent way. Comes then goes...and we can be the observer, or the catcher. It only stays if we grasp at it then hold on tight. When we make a fist, some stuff may get caught in there, then it is ours forever.

Unless we let go.

Blame and shame at our own emotions...the intolerance demonstrated against our own selves for being human, for losing our way, for being less than perfect - like throwing gas on a fire. True for ALL parties. It never is about anyone "out there" - other people are the screens onto which we project our movie. Can anyone other than anger's author even distinguish between "attack" and "accuracy" - and doesn't the receiver have his own movie playing simultaneously - governed by his own script? Are we so small that a bleating ego can crush a true and infinite love?

So what, now what?

"I'm sorry" is only the starting gun to the race - a sprint to the solution. If we can't hear the gun, we don't even know the race has begun. Perhaps we'd rather lose ourselves in the anesthesia of all that feels nothing, or what we think will feel "good" and will ultimately have us feel more shame...leaving us only to think, think, think.

Stuck on our hamster wheel of thought, our hearts wither and cry themselves to sleep.

I knew someone once. When my life was hurting, he asked permission, then tenderly kissed my eye. Ever since then, I've seen life differently. What magic his kiss.

I wish I had his power, I could just as tenderly kiss HIS eye - so he could see things differently.

--dar freeland

faceupstudio.com