Supply and Demand

"Tuna or Ham" by Dar Freeland

images & text © 1997-2011 Dar Freeland | all rights reserved

What happens if a gas tank starts to get low and one knows it will eventually run out of whatever it uses for fuel and then it will not be able to move forward anymore? (fuel = "supply" = attention, sex, chosen anesthesia, approval, praise, winning, applause).

Does it fear? (Get angry at everything around it, because it doesn't want the world to see its shame, it's fragility, its imperfection, its vulnerability).

Does the tank do whatever it believes is necessary to fill itself up until it feels full again? (seeks more illusions, the "supply" to fill it up).

Then does it feel good for a time until it uses up the fuel, (supply = illusions, love stories, sex, distractions) then feel fear, (hopelessness at no obvious solution to fill its emptiness) then does it hate itself for being out of integrity, (wag a finger of hate and blame the world outside itself for not filling its expectations and try to cover its own self loathing and belief it is powerless).

Then does it go out and fill itself up some more? (more attention, sex, chosen anesthesia, approval, praise, winning, applause, ego by association)

Is this endless circle the answer....or the running of the engine (endless consumption of distraction, sex, anesthesia, running) until it drops from final exhaustion? Dis-ease, walking dead, death itself...samsara.

What may be possible, if the tank KNEW it would always be full from the inside out? (Faith in healing backed by action and commitment to fix what is "broken")

What would it be like, if it experienced others around it as a constant SUPPLY, (endless, loving, accepting, safe?) What if THAT kind of SUPPLY, the kind it truly deserves and has at its doorstep, does exist - and has been thrown away, over and over?

Would the tank even notice, or is it filled with fear of being empty? (exposed, judged as without value, and discarded). Love and fear cannot occupy the same space.

Isn't this where one would start looking for the inner station, and stop watching the fuel light with trepidation?

The safest place in the world, is sometimes right before our eyes. Yet we don't look up from ourselves long enough, explore it deep enough, or believe it possible enough - to allow it to be. Or maybe "empty" feels just way too comfortable to let go of.

No one but two people in Australia know what I mean, but if they ever read this, they will.

--dar freeland

faceupstudio.com

The Secret of a Confabulation

"Two Sides of Me" by Dar Freeland

images & text © 1997-2011 Dar Freeland | all rights reserved

I discovered myself fortunate enough for someone to share a secret with me today. The friend looks deeply into the mirror each day and knows self so well, yet after a long struggle uphill, they confessed to having seen not only a funny new "love" which isn't really so....but also a hostile and confusing place called "the world out there."

The friend told me "If I go one place, I find that the people closest to me act the most intimate with me, but they do not respect me. If I go to the other place, I find that the people closest to me are kind and filled with respect for our relationship, yet they lack depth and closeness and will not be intimate." We scratched our heads. The friend continued - "is it that the people in the first place who act intimate, see me as a person they cannot respect? (and that was explored to the depths)...or is it that the people in the other place who respect me, simply don't know me?" (that too was examined)

Blank stare and some silence.

"Is it that the ones who do not respect me are blinded by a narcissistic obsession with self, and can see me only as a mirror of their own wounds - don't even really take the time to figure who I am?...and the friends who would say we are friends in the other place, could it be that they don't feel safe or worthy to open their hearts to be intimate with anyone?"

We sat in the sun for a time and breathed. Then we exhaled and did it again. We shook our heads. And we made it through one more day.

--dar freeland

faceupstudio.com

In The Stillness, What Do You Hear?

"Lit" by Dar Freeland

images & text © 1997-2011 Dar Freeland | all rights reserved

What would I say, if the world cared to listen?

I would say, "listen."

Nothing else in this life will matter nearly as much, to us all.

--dar freeland

faceupstudio.com

A Note To Us

...a rare re-post from someone's FB page I stumbled upon. I believe it is authored by the name below it.

-- dar freeland

***********

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing?

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for LOVE, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive?

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain?

I want to know if you can sit with pain - mine or your own - without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it?

I want to know if you can be with joy - mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human?

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul?

I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy?

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty everyday?

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children?

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back?

It doesn't interest me where or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside, when all else falls away?

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments?

--Oriah, Mountain Dreamer

Letting People Go

"Cutting Ties" by Dar Freeland

images & text © 1997-2011 Dar Freeland | all rights reserved

Today, it seems in the air, the realization that people and circumstances are either committed to engage in confrontation and drama with others - or for many, those same persons or events are just dropping back and disappearing.

The recognition appears to be that they simply don't "fit" us anymore. The space is widening between us. Some with combat, some without. A question to self...why would I want to be around those who do not want to be around me? What purpose does that serve...why choose to take ownership of, then "push that boulder" uphill?

Wouldn't I rather put my energy into the authorship of a loving, compassionate, powerful, abundant, fun and engaging life?

Why not choose instead, to put my energy into relating with those who would love and appreciate and honor us both? Wouldn't that choice be more authentic and useful self care?

I will keep my eyes open today for those who would be a good "fit" for me, who sharing time with - I find I feel energized rather than depleted, and loved instead of scorned. This life is far too short, and the possibilities far too rich to be wasted on fear and apathy...so bring on those who passionately engage in the things that uplift us all. Today is a good time to allow those who no longer fit, to slip away with ease.

--dar freeland

faceupstudio.com

Emotional Kickboxing

"Plus Minus" by Dar Freeland

images & text © 1997-2011 Dar Freeland | all rights reserved

May we all find the strength today to see it differently...

Replace negativity with a positive thought,

See our fixed beliefs with open options for "it" to be different,

Feel our perceived and decided upon defeat, then giggle in its face,

Notice the closed loop of "how it is" and replace it with an attitude of infinite possibility...

If we are determined to act like creatures of duality and opposition, let's make it a plus, not a minus.

Change comes from the inside out, because we say so.

--dar freeland

faceupstudio.com

Loving The Best We Can

"100%" by Dar Freeland

images & text © 1997-2011 Dar Freeland | all rights reserved

Frustration seems to be coming up for many..."it's not happening fast enough, good enough, the way we want it enough..." The feelings are ranging from anger/rage to hopelessness and everything in between. Bottom line, things feel so out of our control. Guess what...we are discovering that they ARE. So what can we do with that? What would be useful and effective for bringing more peace into the situation? Like it or not, this seems to be the formula:

1. Look at and explore what is real, what is in front of us.

2. Accept that it is there and we can't change it (watching someone we care about who is hurting, or inconsolable for any reason).

3. Explore what our hidden motivation is to "fix" it. Do we support an inner illusion that we are powerful, or part of something, or freeing self from guilt, or [fill in your blank].

3. Shift our own thinking into neutrality rather than "I can fix that". Neutrality doesn't mean "I don't care" - that is disassociation. Neutrality says I observe it, I am not hooked into it, I feel compassion for it, I give what is healthy for me to give.

4. Share Love to/with the person or situation in the following way that demonstrates we've achieved the necessary neutrality to give without ego or other hidden motivation...

a. I love you with all my heart.

b. I can help you/the situation in any way that maintains my own self care and healthy choices.

c. I am there for you in the ways that I am willing and capable to be.

What this demonstrates, is that we Love others and/or the situation...that we Love self and practice good self care by not "care-taking"...and that we will go to the wall for someone/something - as far as it is healthy for us to go.

We acknowledge that we are NOT in control, (which the ego never wants to consider)...that each person/situation is driving its own path and can discover its own wisdom and healing on it, and that our greatest power in it is the choice to give our Love the best way we can. Then everyone is served. Those who are looking for more, or feel entitled to our "care-taking" may not like it, but we will go to sleep at night knowing that we went 100% for those closest to our heart.

Isn't "care-taking" an interesting word?

--dar freeland

faceupstudio.com

Welcome

Dar Freeland

faceupstudio.com | Face Up Gallery | Las Vegas, Nevada

A new place to be heard...may we use our voices wisely and often.

--dar freeland

faceupstudio.com